Thursday, March 28, 2024

New Johnson Street Bridge to be converted entirely into bike lanes

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It only just opened yesterday, but drivers won’t be using Victoria’s new bridge for long.

In a surprise announcement today, the City of Victoria revealed that it’s decided to convert the entirety of the new Johnson Street Bridge into bike lanes.

“A Wonderful Solution”

“After watching cars drive across the new bridge last night, we all agreed that something looked off: not enough bicycles,” said Sia Phelps, assistant to the mayor.

“So, we’ve come up with a wonderful solution. Starting mid-April, we’ll be expanding the bridge’s designated bike travel area to encompass the entire structure,” she continued.

Drivers will have approximately three weeks to enjoy the new road, which took over eight years to complete.

Public Responses Range From Bad to Worse

When asked by Victoria Buzz about their feelings on the new bike lane project, one driver declined to comment but proceeded to park his car and scream audibly at his steering wheel for several minutes.

Another driver simply burst into tears.

Despite the overwhelmingly negative response, city officials insist that drivers will still have an easy time crossing the harbour.

“It turns out, there was another bridge right beside our construction zone the whole time!” said Phelps. “Drivers can just use that one.”

When asked about the extensive structural issues that prompted the Johnson Street Bridge replacement in the first place, Phelps laughed and said to “ask the Mayor on Facebook” before cycling away down Pandora Street.

As reported by Victoria Buzz, Victoria Mayor Lisa Helps recently removed her account from the social media platform.

Did you enjoy this article? Looking for more laughs? Check out Comedy Vertigo: Chinatown on Friday, April 6.
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Alistair Ogden
Former staff writer at Victoria Buzz.

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